My name is Michael Black. I am 21 years old, born and raised in Claremore, OK. My story is one of striving and yearning to be something other than myself. I operated from a mentality that told me my importance and value would come from something I would do in the future. I mean, that’s what we’re told right? We are asked from infancy what we want to do with our lives; as if, what we choose to do will determine the significance and value of our lives. This mentality I operated from led to a lifestyle of discontentment and strife for me; never being okay with where I was. I felt I was behind and should be further than where I was.
I became a Christian when I was 15 year old. I began to feel peace, joy, and a sense of purpose; but it wasn’t long before that mentality came back. It pushed me to try to be greater than what I was, because who you are isn’t ever enough right? This became years of the same type of strife, but just with a Christian label on it so it looked “healthy.” When I was 19 years old, I started to get really sick and tired of the striving. I was tired of failure, discontentment, and not being enough. It was throughout ages 19-20 that God started breaking down the lies. He started showing me that He never spoke what I had felt. He said that He loved me exactly where I was (Rom. 5:8), that I could never do anything to earn His love (Rom. 11:6), and that He not only loved me but He celebrated me (Zeph. 3:17).
To the person reading this, I hope you don’t struggle like I did. I hope you don’t ache at the end of the day because you feel you weren’t enough. I hope you’re secure in who God says you are; but if you aren’t, I have been there. I still find myself there somedays, but I can promise you that you have a Father that is so content with you and that doesn’t need anything from you. He brought you on this journey because He wanted to, not because He needed to. So sit down on a couch, lie down on your bed, or go outside and take a deep breath; because you have a Dad that is satisfied with you. (Yes, God is personal enough to call Dad.) From a person that needs to be reminded of this every day, it’s all okay and you’re doing better than you think you are.